Saturday, October 10, 2009

Verbal Assault

I'm probably really putting myself out here........revealing my kryptonite....but are there ever any words that really rub you the wrong way? We have banned words in our house. I'll only give you a few because I can totally see people using these against me. I beg you not to. They send me into a state of frenzy.
#1 Poo

I can handle POOP but not sans the P. That is just SO stinkin' ugly. I mean seriously I hear adult say this even. How can you consider yourself an adult and say this word? There are so many other possibilities.....crap, defecate, spoor, dookey, shat. Come on world......lets let this one more poo. (Sheesh, I almost can't even type it.)
#2 Moist

This word makes me want to vomit. All I can think of is spit when I hear this word. Spit in the corner of your mouth......spittle flying out of an open mouth, snot, mucus drainage, pus. Please, no matter how good my meat or cake is NEVER tell me it is moist. I don't even care if you say 'Man lady, you make a damp pork chop!' or 'That is one wet pudding cake you got there!' Lets all make a pact now to steer clear of the word moist. Oooh I still see spit stringing from dry chapped lips.....make it stop.
#3 Belch

No joke, that is one step away from puking in your mouth. I'm not even that offended if you let one rip.......just call it something else. Or better yet don't even name it.
I know that I have auditory issues. Really, I am aware. The ugly words are only the tip of the ice berg......I get insane over hearing food. I may actually commit a violent act over the sound of someone chewing ice. I have had to ban the chewing of cereal and popcorn while I am near. I have been known to put a pillow over my head to stave off the sound of taffy in ones mouth. I'm making myself sick right now. can't help that they are soft and sticky...but they are, and that is exactly how they sound in your mouth. I almost can't eat them myself just because I am tempted to swallow the whole bite just to avoid the chewing sounds coming from my own mouth.

I don't even think behavior therapy can help me.

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