Thursday, December 29, 2011

Cow Eyeballs

That's a cow eyeball. It's not one of the ones I actually had, because I am too negligent to get pictures that look this great. Plus the kids skewered them before I had my wits about me and pulled out a camera.

Cow eyeballs are one of the many perks of being in private school. It is also one of the perks of having poweful connections in the meat butchering industry.

Our little private school for the gifted and talented allowed me free reign (didn't care what I did as long as it wasn't them) to teach some really fun anatomy classes. As with previous classes that I have taught, some of the children hid crying and some of them worshipped at my cow eyeball goo covered feet. The sweet little ones that I locked in the closet fled to the closet were lucky to be in a non conventional school where you can leave your seat to vomit without having your citizenship docked. The ones that grabbed knives and other sharp objects and stabbed the eyeballs were very fortunate to be in an open minded setting where you can have knives at school and scream bloody murder without the local detective arriving to escort them to kid jail. Although we enjoy local law enforcement in the classroom, we use them mostly as eye candy, not as a threat.

As a teacher, I like to use tactics that cause an emotional reaction, therefore cementing the lesson in the brain. My goal, you would assume, is to bring the children to learning for themselves, causing them to seek further enlightenment. You are wrong. I look for the entertainment side more often than not. I go for shock value, terror, and in the end I hope to endear them to me through this. I look for their acceptance and love and my tools are gratuitous gore, dance routines, comedic video, threats, hugs, explosions, and speaking frankly about perscrition abuse.

My next themed unit will be on government. Do I just stream Rush live or take them to the booking room at the jail? Which one gives me the viceral reaction I'm looking for?