Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Indecent Proposal

I am easily wooed by verbal acuity.  Truly it is true.  I didn't date much in highschool (gasp).  My extreme social phobia and grade oriented obsession kept me busy enough.  But I would also like to point out that I didn't know very many funny guys.  Superman would counterpoint  that is because I didn't know ANY guys.  I would then counterpoint that that makes him a very lucky man.  He would then laugh in a derogatory way.  What I am really trying to get at is though I will never dismiss that Superman is a hot piece of work and I could chew him up when I hear his radio crackle, or I see him in his dress's really his verbal skills that caught my attention.  A good laugh with him is almost as fulfilling as a or a supersize box of Jr. Mints.  You know what I mean.  If he couldn't make me laugh I would have never married him.  Blue eyes can't compensate for everything.
Superman and I like to play our little games.  "Can you think of any couples that aren't equally matched in looks?"  That is our study in the bizarre social phenomena that people match up physically.  "What would you do with oodles of money?" That is our fantasy game of traveling the world and funding our kids Ph.D. educations.  "What would you do for X amount of money?"  This one is also known as 'Indecent Proposal'.  It was our latest endeavour.    I love these games because it's when my love is at his funniest.  I am ashamed to say that I theoretically allowed him to have an Indecent Proposal for only 1 million dollars.  I was easily bought.  I did however have stipulations.  She had to be over sixty and he had to throw up after. I felt like his obvious displeasure was worth a million.  He chivalrously said he wouldn't be bought when it came to me.  Who knew?  I mean seriously.......who knew? 
Finally after much heckling that I was easily bought, I had to take back what I said.  When push came to shove, for a mere $5,000,000 Superman would kiss an oxpecker (the symbiotic bird that cleans up rhinos and other such animals), or any other animal I could think of.  I don't really see either one of us being approached for that kind of dare though.  But I will put it out there in cyberspace.....if you've got 5 million to throw away......we'll kiss a 'butt bird' as my man calls it.