Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Cherry Clafoutis.......Ya, That's What I Said

I'm sitting here having an ADHD moment.  I have cleaned about 16 different places and I can't seem to nail it down to just one area.  I've finally given myself a pseudo break and I started looking through some cooking magazines I need to get rid of.  

I am looking at these pictures of food like some people probably like to look at porn.  I can't get enough and I don't want to throw them away.  Frankly I want to save them under my mattress. 
The problem is that I like food.  Ever since having the nuggets my tastes have developed quite nicely and I really enjoy trying new things, new flavors, new combinations.  The bigger problem is that the rest of my family including The Man, eat like toddlers.  Cut up pieces of meat.....beef, chicken, pork, maybe a cheese stick and some chips to top it off.  None of them will eat a thing if it has any kind of sauce or vegetable....most of them don't even like bread.  That is a mortal sin.

So, unless I want to make my own very tiny meal with food items that I don't usually keep on hand....er, you know there are only so many things you can do with a hunk of meat and plain white rice (YUCK!), I don't really eat the kinds of things that I dream of.
On our super awesome anniversary vacation (that wasn't sarcasm......I know, it's hard to tell sometimes) we had the best time!  But when it came to food we were doing a lot of meat based restaurants.  I love some good meat, don't get me wrong.  BUT I would like to branch out.  Finally, desperate to make my taste buds happy, Officer Handsome took me to a beautiful little French bakery.  The food was so beautiful I was near tears.  I loved my food.  I nearly had an affair right there in front of him.  My heart was very close to transfering it's affections.  And what pray tell did that handsome man eat?  The only normal thing on the menu...a BLT.  I literally had to block him out to be able to enjoy my food.  It was like eating with someone on a diet.  I wanted to give him a little smack on the tush!  And not in an anniversary kind of way!

So here's what I'm gonna do.  I'm gonna save my little pictures of pretty food, that I am sure tastes just as pretty.  I'm gonna put them right next to my bed.  And when Officer Handsome doesn't come home until VERY late at night because he was chasing a nut job down a deserted road in the dark, after she threw some drugs out the window........I'm gonna look at those pictures.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Dirty, Messy.......Life

Challenged by my dear, dear friend  http://liddell6.blogspot.com/ I decided to post about what makes me dirty, messy and loveable:)
This blog has never intended to make anyone feel inferior.  I am pretty sure that it never has.  I think I am fairly upfront about the fact that I am frantically trying to keep my head above water.  If anything you should surf to your next web address feeling uplifted that you are succeeding where I am trodden down in the mud. 
Thus I will leave you with 7 dirty, messy, strange things that I accept about myself.....yet find myself adoring anyway!

1)  I do not like even numbers as a general rule.  I find 4,6,8, etc...offensive in their desperation to be even.  I do not like that they try so hard.  It is very hard to watch. It makes me uncomfortable. (For some reason 22 does not bother me.  Infact I like it.)

2) I have phenominal pregnancies physically if you don't count that my hips disengage and I totter around like a pure bread dog, awaiting euthenasia.  Mentally I am a mess.  I teeter on the verge of hysterical, raging, mania.  As the birth nears I feel like a trapped animal.  I also feel like my agency has been taken away and I am being forced to proceed with something that I do not want to be part of.  I refuse to return to the doctor just to prove that no one can make me go into labor.  I am not a pleasant person to be around.....BUT after I have accepted the fact that I cannot physically or mentally survive without medical intervention (epidural!) and that warm, safe feeling courses through my lower body......there is a time in there that is the very greatest time in all the world.  And it is not the drugs I refer to.  When that little tiny nugget that is all yours is born, after such intense deranged fear and trama.  There is no other time that is more ROMANTIC!  It is even deeper than romance.  I don't think I have words really to say what I mean.  When it is just you and your little baby and your hubby........that is the deepest love and adoration, the safest and most loved I have ever felt.  And when I mourn not having more babies....this is the thing I mourn for.  Well, that and the irresistable baby.

3)  I love to sort money.  I seriously L.O.V.E. it.  Our family saves all of our change in a huge bucket for our vacations.  When it's time to dump it out and roll the coins I am stoked.  I love sorting it because there is no guess work.  You are either a penny, a nickle, a dime, or a quarter.  Really this speaks volumes about me.  I like when things fit neatly.  I don't like when there are things that I don't know where they belong.  Therefore there are stacks of mail and paper on my counter because I am undecided what to do with them.  I hate not knowing.......in general, all across the board.  Just lay it out for me. Do you love me, hate me, do I irritate you, what should I be when I grow up........the list of things I need to know are exhausting.

4)  I did this fantastic workbook which took me months.  It literally ravaged my soul.  I learned things about myself that I do not like....I do not like them with a firey intensity.  I crave adoration.  I am lazy and desire only what comes with ease.  I have dark recesses so terrible that they are like a red velvet lined coffin.  There are parts of me that want only what is impossible, or risk damnation.  No joke.  And guess what.  Although I was trodden down like a wet leaf in the mud.......I liked it.  I liked that I could look at all of those things and admit that I knew they were there, but that I am still a pretty rockin' chick.

5)  I have hideous, grotesque, Quasimodo like nodules that grow on my scalp.  They are not many in number, and not frequent. There you go.  I have surgically removed some myself and had others removed by someone more professional.  Now for everyone that was soured by my striking beauty and raged with jealousy over my perfection.....you know the sick truth.

6)  I love that texting was ever invented.  That is because I do not like making phone calls.  That is because I am afraid that I will interrupt someone doing something much more important than speaking to me.  And while their phone rings, they will look down, see my name on caller ID and roll their eyes.  As I have an issue with desperate numbers (see #1) I also do not wish to be seen as desperate.  This causes me to act aloof and uncaring when I am secretly not aloof and I care so very deeply.  I employ this trick on many people. 

7)  I once snuck into a Stake dance when I was underage.  I find this hilarious for more than one reason.  a)I lied to get into a church function.  I showed fake ID even. b) I did not dance.  c) When I was of age to attend, I could not have been dragged there.  d) I did not even attend school dances.....even though I assure you dear readers, I WAS asked.  Then why, pray tell did I do something so flat out dumb?  Because...and this is the real #7, I succumb easily to peer pressure.  When pressured by the right person, for the right or wrong reason....I'll cave, especially if I love you. 

Now go ahead and spill your guts on your own blog and PULEASE tell me all the messy little things about you so that I don't have writers remorse.