Thursday, April 1, 2010
The Second Time Around
I've never claimed to have a handle on my emotions. When I came to the realization that I may have to deliver the second child....I bluntly told Dr. D that I would not return after the 36th week of gestation unless I was knocked out cold and unawares. Living up to my end of the bargain, I refused to make further appointments or discuss the possibility of giving birth.
Duty had called loud and long. Superman was at the 2002 Olympics keeping us safe from terrorists. This aloneness really helped me compartmentalize...I found it quite easy to pretend that I was not 9 months pregnant.
Dr. D, realizing that I truthfully intended to never return, called in a little treat to the pharmacy. He felt that if he could, in fact, render me unconscious, someone could perhaps drag me to the hospital. Superman returned from his post in time to pick up the drugs just as the contractions began. Knowing that I would put up a struggle if he suggested that medical attention may be imminent....he brought home a little bottle of sleepy dust.
Anxiety has long been a companion of mine. I am curious ....... does anyone else have that thing where the fear of what is to come in the morning stops you from going to sleep because the dreaded event will come faster? Well that is about where we were sitting. I knew the contractions were leading somewhere. I tried to play it down, but I am sure that trying to lock myself in the bathroom piqued Superman's keen senses. Night was coming on and he knew that he was going to have to get me to the hospital by morning. If he could just get me to eat the little doggy treat stuffed with Ambien.......home free. I wasn't giving up without a fight. On one hand being drugged and comatose would really aleviate the intense sense of doom...but the sooner you go nighty night, the sooner you are propped up on a table naked. Not in the good sense....where you are dancing to boom chicka bow wow and making cash hand over fist, but the bad sense where there are blood and guts falling out of your bottom. Superman calmly and lovingly tried to get me to partake of fruit. Nu uh. He became testy. At one point he held me down. Feeling backed into a corner I took the little pill and put it in my ear. It pains me to admit that childish act, but you really have to understand how much I hate every part of labor and delivery........I hate it right up to the point where you are one year post partum. You would think a man trained to detect deceit would have picked up on this......it took some time. Finally when I didn't pass out cold, he became suspicious. After grilling me under a 100 watt light bulb in a dark room and smashing my fingers in the desk drawer, I copped to the fact that the drugs were in my ear. The only thing I remember after that was everything taking on a blue cast and not being able to use my legs. I became cognizant at the hospital when the nurse in her best cheerleader voice chirped, 'Oh my heck.....are you so excited to have a baby today?" I immediatley burst into tears and said, "NO!" She hooked me up to an IV anyway.
Superman, not learning his lesson the previous time, lent me his fingers to grasp while the anesthetist used a screwdriver to give me an epidural. Once he regained the use of his bloody hand, he picked up a hunting magazine and didn't speak to me again until it was baby birthin' time. He requested more ringers be hung on the IV pole in order to block his view. He didn't understand yet that only one of us could be scared witless...and it was my turn. Luckily, my babies have been coached from the pre-existance and they are able to birth themselves, as I am useless with fright. The Farm Boy appeared quick as a blink:)